‘So full of life and love, so sad inside’: how Jacinda Barclay’s death could help us understand concussion in sport

When the fearless, open-hearted athlete took her own life in October, the shock was immense. Now her family is determined to find out why

Tall, whispering gum trees line the driveway of the Barclay property. The homestead sits nestled into a gentle slope up a lightly wooded hillside. It’s a green oasis under the hot Perth sun – a bath is filled with flowering pansies, a huge stone vase bubbles with water, hanging plants trail leaves on to the deck of a yawning veranda. Paved brick pathways weave under ferns and arching foliage to a bungalow, a garage and a fire pit surrounded by old train sleepers.

This is where Jacinda Barclay grew up. She rode motorbikes over these paddocks with her friends, practised her baseball pitch and threw the ball for her dog. This veranda is where she drank wine in the evenings, laughed with her boyfriend, got bitten by mosquitoes. Under it, she confided in her mother and dreamed.

Two of Barclay’s uniforms. Photograph: David Dare Parker/The Guardian

Zane Barclay with his sister’s signed Australian rules football. The mural was painted in her memory, with 34 representing the number on the back of her AFLW jersey. Photograph: David Dare Parker/The Guardian

Related: Jacinda Barclay was our ‘rockstar’ but she deserved so much more | Rebecca Beeson

Deb Barclay with hearts placed on trees at the homestead as part of her daughter’s memorial. Photograph: David Dare Parker/The Guardian

Images from family albums

Barclay’s baseball from the 2012 World Cup. Photograph: David Dare Parker/The Guardian

Barclay in an AFLW match between Greater Western Sydney Giants and Fremantle Dockers. Photograph Matt King/Getty Images

Related: Explainer: what we know about concussion in Australian sport

Giants players wearing number 34 jerseys in memory of Barclay watch on as their teammates prepare to take the field. Photograph: Mark Kolbe/Getty Images

A tribute to Barclay is shown on the big screen during a moment’s silence before a match between the GWS Giants and Gold Coast Suns. Photograph: Dan Himbrechts/AAP

A family snapshot of Jacinda, Zane and Deb

Barclay playing in the rain against the Adelaide Crows. Photograph: Matt King/Getty Images

In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

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Category: Mental Health